Why is it so hard to change?
Because we experience ambivalence and struggle to learn.
Ambivalence means that we feel two ways. We have reasons to change and reasons to stay the same. And even when we feel perfectly motivated in one moment, a slight change can remind us how relatively comfortable we are right now.
Learning heavily influences change. New behaviors won’t be routine: they require more thought, effort, and desire. Choosing change is always trailblazing, even when we want to rediscover something we used to do. Staying the same takes little effort. Our habits are well traveled roads that we know so well that we show up at our destination without thinking about a single turn we took.
The solution to ambivalence is choosing action. And the solution to learning is to repeat that action until a new path is created.
Don’t try to abandon every familiar street right away. Try making a single step into the darkness. It doesn’t matter if it seems too small. Take it today. Take it again tomorrow.